Caring for Your Injured Vet and Caring for the Caregiver...Two Halves that Make a Whole

Sometimes the deployment of your loved one seemed like it would never end.  What might happen after that was a place you couldn’t get to.  And then the homecoming.  A wild mixture of joy, relief and sadness at the changes that you might have seen: sometimes the severest of injuries, sometimes invisible injury.

Now what you want more than anything is to help somehow. You’re not alone. The Huffington Post published results of a survey of veterans’ caregivers. Here from the Huffington Post (“Caring for Our Disabled Veterans: Who Is Responsible?” on 3/30/11) are some statistics about the new group you find yourself a member of:

• 96% are women.
• 70% of are their spouses or partners.
• 25% of disabled veterans are being cared for primarily by their parents.
• Over 50% say that their disabled veteran has a severe mental illness as a result of combat exposure; nearly 30% say the veteran had a traumatic brain injury, and 20% name paralysis or spinal cord injury.
• 30% have been in the role of caregiver for 10 years or more.
• 66% find themselves in "high-burden" situations, helping the veteran with basic activities as dressing, bathing and feeding.

More than likely, you’re a newbie in this world. You’ll be glad to hear there are resources for you out there, some specific to veterans, and some with a broader range.  Have a look and take what you need from wherever you find it. 

Never forget that you’re an incredibly valuable resource to your vet.  Irreplaceable.  What does that mean?  It means that you have a tremendous responsibility to look after yourself.  Each of the resources below emphasizes that point…it’s that important. The book What Can I Do? is specifically about caring for the caregiver.

woundedwarriorproject.org – Founded by a group of veterans and friends, their purpose (in addition to raising public awareness) is to help injured service members aid and assist each other.  They also provide unique programs and services to meet the needs of injured service members. Visit their resource page  You can also call 888.WWP.ALUM (997.2586).

lotsahelpinghands.com - Begun by a family who’d experienced firsthand the power of community, this organization helps caregivers set up free, private, web-based communities for organizing friends, family, and colleagues, a way to organize the good intentions of friends and family who want to help. Their website has a specific landing page for military families. 

Last, have a look at What Can I Do?, a guide for family and friends of caregivers that provides ways to help care for the caregiver. Written by Patricia Bethune with Barbara Sweeney, both of whom have boots-on-the-ground experience in caregiving, you can find it at Amazon.com and the website.  It’s short, pithy, and helpful. Bethune is the spokesperson for the Rosalyn Carter Institute for Caregiving.

Know that you also have the NVF’s own Lindy as a resource, too. Email her at lindy@nvf.org And as always, if you find something you think other caregivers should know about, please share it on our Facebook page. We’re all in this together.